Want to know what to do doing a muster drill? Looking for advice on how to score a hole-in-two? Need help handicapping this week's NASCAR race? Want to order your very own custom-painted concrete mule? Are you an old high school friend that wants to know how fat and bald I've gotten? Send e-mail to rick@rickmaynard.com.

P.S. A "fan" recently sent me an e-mail and alerted me that -- thanks to the copy above -- this page now comes up
if you Google the words "fat" and "bald."

At first, I was offended. Then, I was amused. In any event, I decided not to change it.

Welcome to everyone who arrived at this page by Googling "fat" and "bald." You're among friends here.